About Us – The (Totally True-ish) Story of Nobody Cares

The Beginning – Two Cousins, One Broken Toaster, and Zero Clues

How It All Started

It all started on a Tuesday, because let’s face it, nothing great ever begins on a Monday. Rex, a self-proclaimed “creative genius” (he once glued macaroni to a TV remote and called it art), was busy trying to invent a toaster that could make tacos. Meanwhile, Colton, a guy who once tried to sell “air guitars” at a flea market, was working on a startup idea for a mobile app that just told people to “nap more.”

The Great Cheese Incident of 2023

One fateful day, Rex’s toaster-taco prototype exploded, sending burnt tortilla bits into orbit and triggering what Colton now refers to as “the Great Cheese Incident of 2023.” While trying to explain the catastrophe to his landlord, Rex muttered, “Why am I even trying? Nobody cares.” Cue dramatic pause. Colton looked up from his sketchpad (he was drawing a picture of a dolphin eating pizza) and said, “Wait. That’s it. That’s the name.”

The Eureka Moment – Powered by Snark and Caffeine

Inspiration Strikes in the Weirdest Ways

Fueled by six energy drinks, a questionable amount of leftover Chinese food, and the kind of confidence you only get after watching a motivational TED Talk at 3 a.m., the cousins decided to launch a clothing brand.

The Birth of the Brand

“Let’s make clothes for people who would wear a shirt that says, ‘404: Personality Not Found,’” said Rex, while trying to eat a fortune cookie without opening it. “And hats that say, ‘Nobody Asked,’” added Colton, spilling soy sauce on the sketchpad. It was decided: Nobody Cares would be the ultimate brand for anyone who enjoys sarcasm, humor, and the occasional terrible pun.

The Early Days – Chaos, Creativity, and Colton’s Ferret

Sir Sniffington, The Creative Director

The first designs were created in Rex’s garage, which doubled as a “studio” and a home for Colton’s pet ferret, Sir Sniffington. The ferret’s sole job was to act as “creative director,” mostly by running across the keyboard while Rex tried to design shirts. Oddly enough, this is how their first bestseller, “I’m Not Lazy, I’m Energy Efficient,” came to life.

Turning Chaos Into Creativity

The cousins worked day and night, with Rex designing t-shirts that featured sarcastic phrases and Colton attempting to turn their social media into “the funniest thing the internet has ever seen.” (Spoiler: It worked. Kind of. If you count the video of Colton accidentally stapling his shirt to a mannequin as a success.)

Nobody Cares Goes Viral (By Accident, Obviously)

The Viral Moment

One morning, after uploading a design that read, “I Work Harder Than My Wi-Fi,” the website crashed. At first, they thought it was because Rex tried to microwave a Pop-Tart while hosting a Zoom meeting, but it turns out the shirt had gone viral.

The World Takes Notice

Celebrities started wearing their designs. A TikTok influencer named @HotSauceAndSarcasm posted a video of herself in the “Nobody Asked” hat, and suddenly, the brand was everywhere. “Oh no,” said Rex, realizing they had to fulfill 10,000 orders with exactly three boxes of t-shirts, one broken printer, and Sir Sniffington as their only employee. “Oh yes,” said Colton, already trying to convince a neighbor to help package shirts in exchange for leftover Chinese food.

The Legacy – From Chaos to Clothing Empire

Building a Movement

Today, Nobody Cares is more than just a brand—it’s a lifestyle. Rex and Colton still run the company with the same humor and sarcasm that started it all. Sir Sniffington has been promoted to “VP of Snacks,” and the cousins continue to create designs that make people laugh, think, and occasionally snort coffee out of their noses.

Why Nobody Cares is Different

Nobody Cares isn’t just about clothing—it’s about embracing life’s absurdities and wearing them proudly. Whether you’re rocking a hat that says, “I’m Outdoorsy in That I Like Patios” or a hoodie that reads, “Procrastinators Unite… Tomorrow,” you’re part of a movement that proves humor never goes out of style.

Kenton Brower, a Gandalf in marketing, riding a horse on a beach, ideal for creative marketing and personal branding projects

"I can't help it if you're ugly"

Meet Kenton—a badass with a mane that flows like a damn shampoo commercial and a gaze that says, “I’m here to kick ass and eat hay—and I’m all outta hay.” This four-legged force of nature doesn’t just turn heads; he snaps necks with his rugged charm and no-bullshit attitude. He’s got a wild streak a mile wide, a nose for adventure, and a spirit that’s as untamed as a rockstar at a whiskey bar. Kenton’s not just any horse—he’s the goddamn trailblazer of the animal kingdom. As for the guy in the saddle? Who gives a shit.

Rex Jones, photographer, in a lifestyle portrait outdoors, showcasing his professional and creative approach to visual storytelling.

"Don't be a dumb, do be a smart"

Meet Rex, the Gandalf of branding—except instead of “You shall not pass,” it’s “You shall kick ass!” Rex grabs businesses by the balls, tightens the brand, whips the content, and cranks up the marketing. And when he’s not doing that, he’s behind the camera, snapping photos that’ll make your eyes pop. Portraits, products, landscapes—hell, he does it all because why not? Branding badass by day, photography wizard by… also by day. Sleep? Who needs it?